Yesterday was Big C and A’s birthday, they are my little love babies as I call it. This day has some many deep thoughts to go through. I have thoughts of excitement, thoughts of sorrow, and thoughts of awe. And to think that just three years ago this day held very little impact. I was not ever a huge Valentine fanatic.
We have for the last two years on their birthday celebrated it by having a “parents potluck party”. That meant Godparents (both sets), Grandparents (both sets), Foster parents and Parent parents, us, would all get together to share in food, present opening, cake, and showering both Big C and A with love. Also any Aunts or Uncles who are in town come out too. I am happy we have decided to celebrate them in this way. I just look around the house that night and think how blessed my kids are to have SO many people in their lives who love them SO deeply. It is truly a wonderful night.
I also go through some emotional lows on that day. To think about how I missed their first 9 birthdays is difficult and as much as I try not to think of it I always seem to have a few moments of reflection. I missed seeing them come into this world. I missed that first birthday that they tried their first taste of cake. I missed being able to throw years of themed parties that reflected their interests that year. I missed planning 9 years of gifts and watching their faces light up when they open them. I missed those years, I missed my babies grow up for the first 9 years of their lives.
But what I do try to focus on is that I have had the last 2 birthdays and will get the rest. This gives me so much just knowing I have the future.
But not all reflections on past years makes me feel low. As I said before I have not been a big Valentines fanatic. Didn’t really bother me if I didn’t have a guy or if I did. Yes Jon is very blessed man not to have the “LOVE DAY” pressure, J. As I was thinking about this a few weeks ago and thanking the Lord I wasn’t hugely into V-day because it allows me to better focus on my kids having such a great day then myself. I realized that I did have one year that I went for no reason all out. I bought gifts, cards, even roses for all my friends. I even drove to each of their schools and homes to hand deliver the goods. As I thought of that Valentines and wondered what overcame me to do all that that year it dawned on me, the year was 2001. That was the year, the day my A and Big C were born. The Holy Spirit allowed me to celebrate their birth without me even knowing why I was celebrating. God works in such amazing ways and always brings me to awe over his ultimate plans.
Thank You Jesus for my children. May you bless each of them as they venture into their year of being 11!
JUST ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS
When Lil’ C was only 5 days old he did the most crazy and bizarre thing I ever saw. Lil’ C was lying on Jon’s chest while Jon was lying on the coach just relaxing and taking in the fact he had just became a father. When all of a sudden Lil’ C lifted his head, propped himself up with his one hand, looked Jon straight in the face and slapped him across the cheek. He then went right back to the limp position he previously was in and left Jon stunned and with a little bit of a sore cheek.