Sunday, 15 January 2012

How do I always get myself into such positions?

Well I am definitely not a writer or even a person who knows how to spell or use grammar well. If you are wanting to read something of great literature stop now. I am pretty sure most of my ramblings may not even use the right words for the sentences their in.

 So if I am so terrible at writing why start a blog.

Before I can answer that question I must first explain why so many times in my life I end up asking myself how I put myself into what feels like a place that no one else is at. I have asked this many times already in the short amount of life I have lived. Let me explain...

When I was 19 years old I became engaged to my wonderful husband and was married June 25, 2005 at the age of 20.  You see the thing is most people I know who are from my generation do not get married 2 years after graduating high school. I think it was about 4 months into my engagement and numerous times of watching other people’s eyes jump out of their skulls when I would share about my coming wedding that I realized that this wasn’t the most common thing to do at my age. I think those who related to me were mostly over the age of 60.  Here I was in marriage when most of my friends were either dating or single. I was figuring this whole martial commitment thing out in a bit of a lonely spot.

I think it was around 23 that my close friends then started to wed. Yeah I am finally on the same page! It was fun to be able to relate with those on marital quirks, the balance of being you with sacrificial giving to another, and well just the joys and hardships of being a wife. Then I got pregnant with our son Lil’ C. I was again tossed into another place that felt like no one I knew was at. I had to remind myself that the national birthing age is 32 in Canada not 24. Lil’ C came into the world December 13, 2008. For some reason having a child put you in a place most singles really didn’t know how to relate to or me to them. My priorities were not just focused on myself or my husband; they were for this helpless human being. Soon though with great excitement I did find out that those I hold dear were soon having their own little ones the summer of 2009. I only had to face this thing called motherhood alone for just a short while.

Then on November 26, 2010 my husband and I adopted our twins and they moved into our home. We always knew that we desired a mixed family, were our children came to us either biologically or adoptive. We also knew that this put us on a road most don’t travel down. I just don’t think we really realized how untraveled that road would be. You see our twins came into our lives when they were 9 years old. I instantly had children who went to school, who had 9 years of upbringing under their belts by someone else, who could comprehend what was happening yet not fully understand the huge impact it has on all of our lives. Again not the most common thing to do at age 26 but when you love your children you do anything for them no matter your age. It is just hard to relate to others who parent kids this age. Most have had the blessing of being with their children as they grew up from infanthood and most of the parents are in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. Those who are in their 20’s were teen moms which is a whole unique road to walk in itself.  Most, older child adoption, adoptive parents we have met are older in age or fostered their kids for a few years before adoption happened.

Don’t get me wrong I am hugely thankful that I have had the life I have had. I wouldn’t have put off any of it. To be honest I am actually grateful that I never waited for later in life to take any of those leaps. I have not lost out at all, I have only gained.  But I don’t think that if I hadn’t been through them at those points in my life I would have ever dared to venture down this road of putting my story and thoughts out there for anyone to read.

You see in each of those “How did I get myself into this lonely position” I would search out those who were there, who understood. I would seek them out in my community, in my church and would search online trying to connect to them. I knew I can’t be the only one in this whole world who has been here or is here. God promises that he will put the lonely into family. So this is why I am writing a blog with no literary skills because I realized that those who are searching don’t need a masterpiece, they just need to know that they are not alone.
 Watching Gulliver’s Travels with all 3 kids. There is a scene where the one character explains to Gulliver that after only a day of working there he is now the boss and Gulliver has been demoted. Lil’ C then say, “Hey Mom, he’s just like you. He’s the boss.” Ahhh, the truth from a little babe’s mouth J


  1. Shala, really looking forward to following your journey! When I look at you, I get excited for the things God is doing, and has already done in your life! You have a beautiful family ... you have said it perfectly, Mixed Beautifully. :)

  2. Hey "lovely"... I really enjoyed reading this. You are one amazing lady. This really reminded me all over again of how colorful your life has been in such a short amount of time. And how through all the colors of the rainbow God has showered upon you, comes someone who needs be incredibly strong, simply obedient, full of hope and determination; someone who needs to be able to "face the lions" in life and make them into something so BEAUTIFUL! Not everyone can relate to your life in every aspect, but we are all inspired (maybe even a little intimidated at times!).

    Lovin' you :)