10 Reasons Why I Love That We Adopted Older Children

1.We get to share interests. Clothes/style, cars, art, crafts, reading (the kids and I read the same novel at the same time), skateboarding, snowboarding, cooking, photography, and so much more.




2. It was so easy to talk about the emotions the kids were feeling during the first few months of being adopted. If they seemed sad I could tell them I see that they are down and we could talk about why they were feeling this way. Sometimes they didn't fully understand why they felt the way they did but after talking it helped so much. Communication on an older deeper level in this process has been the biggest blessing.

-first family photo from the day we told A and Big C that we were adopting them, 2010


3. We get to bond together through older activities. Biking, going for walks, participating in marathons, water fights, watching movies (and cuddling), camping, playing board games/playing cards, wresting, gardening, geocatching, etc.




4. Talking about God and what he is doing in our lives. This I have to say is my favorite part of having older kids. They are developing their own personal relationship with Christ and it is so cool to hear how God is speaking and moving in their lives every day.

-photo by Jennifer Veitch Photography 2012


5. We get to joke around and enjoy our uniqueness as a family. The fact that the twins are adopted isn’t something odd to talk about and they even have a little fun with it sometimes.

-photos by VPhotographic 2012





6. Parent/Child dates! Going to the movies, going to the race track, going to a fashion show, tea parties, going on a full day snowboarding trip, etc.

-going to dinner and a movie for a Dad/Daughter date


7. Being able to connect and get to know a whole new group of parents. If we hadn't adopted we would have probably connected more with young parents of toddlers and newborns due to the fact that would have been all the kids we would have had right now. But because of our older children we have been thrown into a group of parents with older kids, most being 10-15 years older than ourselves (average birthing age is 33 in Canada). We have been blessed to learn and bond with some really amazing people.

-our lifegroup


8. My kids come with a past and that means they come with their own relationships from that past. It is surprisingly a huge blessing. We have met and been supported by people we would have never been close to if it wasn't for their bond with our children.

-foster-parent on far left, 3 in the middle all Social Workers who blessed us, A and I on right on A and Big C's Forever Day. 2010


9. I always get asked how well the kids know their biological parents and if it bothers me if they do. They do know their biological mom fairly well and don’t know their biological father. To be honest I love that they know their biological mom so well; it’s the biological father that can be the issue at times. When they don’t have anything to go off of, they go off of fantasy and as much as we try to root them in what we do know , it is hard to grasp when there is a “could be” present. We get to talk about how she looks, what kinds of things she enjoys and some memories. Although she isn't present in there lives she is a big part of how they came to be ours.




10. Just being a part of God’s BIG plan is amazing. When we look through both our pasts and the twin’s we see how God inter-weaved our lives, how from human choices he devised something beautiful knowing the ultimate plan and set forth to prepare Jon and I way before we even had any idea. How he made each of our kids so unique but yet perfect for us, for our family.


-the first time we ever took the kids out in 2008


-four years later, now apart of my family FOREVER :)

Adoption Application: A Realization

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend who is in the process of adopting about the process we went through, what I knew of other’s processes, and what it is like now that we have had our kids for a year and a half. As we chatted I came to a pretty cool realization about the change of heart and view I have on our adoption.

We were talking about filling out your application. Making those big decisions of what you are okay with accepting and what you feel you aren’t equipped to handle at this time in your lives. Those kinds of decisions like one child or sibling group, what cultures are you open to bring in to be a part of your family unit and are you willing to adapt certain things to this culture, are you willing to bring a child in with special needs, be that a child who is blind, with heart problems, FAS, or RADs and the list goes on. Each decision is important to really take time and contemplate on how it will affect you and your lives.

That is when I realized something pretty profound about myself. I realized my view on these big decisions has changed.

When I first contemplated it all I was thinking on how hard it would be on me and my life. What things I would have to change, what challenges I would have to go through, how it would affect my day to day and how it would affect my future.

But now, having my children it is very little on how it affects me and my whole world of concern is on how those things effects them and their world. I only think about how hard it is on them, what challenges they have to go through, how it affects their day to day, and especially how it affects their future. My whole being only wants to fix it for them or make sure they have all the tools they need for that future. And each day I am very aware that I will never be able to fix it for them and that I will never be able to give them all the tools they need. All I can do is lay all those big decisions down at the Lords feet and know He will take care of them all perfectly.

JUST ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS

Lil’ C has never played with dolls before even though we have had them in our home. This week he all of a sudden picked up A’s doll and has played with it none stop but only in a way that a real boy’s boy would.

For example, I was on the coach in the living room feeding Zip. Lil’ C sits next to me with the doll. “I am going to feed my baby too. Okay Mom.” He lifts up his shirt and explains to the doll that he is going to feed it through his belly.

All of a sudden Lil’ C jumps off of the coach with the doll in hand. “Oh No! There are bad ninja guys with robot Jedi heads. Come on baby lets punch them.” Lil’ C places one doll hand in each of his and proceeds to make the doll punch the imaginary bad guys. He then flings the doll dramatically onto the coach that is now behind him and declares, “I will protect you baby!” He reaches over and picks up his nerf gun off of the coffee table with one hand. He then points the nerf gun that looks like a really large revolving barrel hand gun at one corner of the room and starts to shoot the ninja bad guys. “Paaddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” He then ends in the opposite corner giving a very loud explosion sound, “PooU-Flem”. Throwing his head and hand with the nerf gun in it back as though the nerf gun has sent out an ending missile.

He turns with triumph and picks up the doll saying, “See I protected you baby.”

A New Addition

Before I get into my entry for this week I wanted to just say a little something first. I am committing to posting an entry by every Sunday night. I am doing this for a number of reasons. One being to give myself some structure and accountability so that I continue to write. Two being that I as a busy mom don’t have whole lot of time to write more than that. Thirdly being that most of you reading this are busy moms yourselves and probably don’t have time to read more than that, especially if you follow a few blogs. Okay now onto my post:

One of the best parts of having adoption in your family is always having your eyes opened to a different perspective on something that may seem to you just mundane. I was blessed this Saturday by just this very thing.

I wanted to have a little one on one time with Big C so I asked him to come along with me that morning to do some errands. We quickly got ready and climbed into the car. As he got into the car he asked me why we have the kennel with us. As I pulled out of the yard I asked him if he could tell me.

“Are we getting another kitten?”

“No” I said.

“A PUPPY!”

“Yes. We are looking at two litters today. Your Dad and I have certain things we need in a puppy so I will be picking out which one we are taking home. But I would love for you to be with me and make the puppy feel welcome when we drive home. How does that sound”

“Awesome Mom.”

We needed to drive for an hour before we got to the first place. I loved having this time to chat with just him. This doesn’t happen much when the other two are in the car with us. Usually Big C and A both try to share with me the same story at the same time or they would just prefer to talk with each other then with Mom.   Most of our conversation in the car that day was about Star Wars. I didn’t have much to add to the conversation, only seen the movies once, but it was wonderful to hear him talk with such zeal.

The first litter was tons of fun. 7 little Australian Shepherd/German Shepherd puppies. Big C rolled around the floor letting all of them wildly climb all over him. He would share that he really liked this one then say that he really liked that one. I am sure if he could he would have taken at least three home. Even myself fell for one little girl real hard but after meeting them I realized that they are more suited for indoors and we were looking for an outdoor dog.

We then drove to our second meeting place to meet the other litter. These were 3 Australian Shepherd/Maremma puppies. Oh they were fluffy and definitely had the coat for a great outdoor dog. We had to meet outside at a parking lot so we were only able to hold them. They were all so snugly. Especially the one girl, she would snuggle her nose right under our chins.  Both mine and Big C’s hearts had been won over. I looked at him and said, “She’s the one.” I paid the lady who brought them and asked Big C if he would take her to the car. With a big smile he carried her to the car.

As we climbed into the car to make our way home I got to experience that wonderful different perspective. Big C helped our new little puppy into the kennel and then sat in the seat next to her leaving the door to the kennel open so he could comfort her. As I got the car started I could hear him. “It’s okay. We are going to love you a lot. You’re going to be safe with us.” Big C then looked up at me and shared that he could understand how she feels. He understood how it felt to be separated from your family, unsure why, and be put with a new one. I turned in my seat and told him that it is a really great thing that he could understand what she must be going through and be able to sympathize with her. He smiled and said, “Yeah it is good isn’t it. She is probably scared right now but I am sure in a bit she is going to feel really loved and know we are her family. She’ll just need some time.”

JUST ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS

When Lil’ C was about 2. Daddy and him were upstairs in our bedroom. I go up the stairs to join them when I hear Lil’ C say "Ouch Dada". Jon then tells me that all he did is kiss him. Well I then go to show Lil’ C that kissing Dad isn't ouchy at all. As a lean in for a kiss Lil’ C puts his hands frantically towards my face and shouts, "No Mama! Daddy herpes, Daddy herpes!" Instead of Daddy hurt me, his newest learned word at that time. Well to say the least I nearly peed myself from laughter."